Miley Cyrus in a bikini

Here's Miley Cyrus in the Bahamas, and before everyone freaks out, it's not like she's going all Heidi Montag on us. Not that that will stop Billy Ray Cyrus from hunting me down with a coonskin cap and a knife between his tee- Wait. *sniff sniff* Does anyone else smell Budweiser and mullet wax? Sonofabitch!


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Hayden Panettiere continues banging Hollywood

Here's Hayden Panettiere leaving Nobu last night where she hopped into a car with 30-year-old Welsh actor Steve Jones.



I don't really know who or what a Steve Jones is, but for anyone out there still pining for Hayden, she's basically banging anyone with an accent or old enough to remember that episode of ThunderCats when Snarf drove the tank. Fortunately, I fall into both categories. Mates.


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Leighton Meester in a bikini

Here's Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester at a Los Angeles beach, and I'd like to personally thank the paparazzo responsible for these photos.



Kudos to you, sir. Your keen skills deftly adapted to Leighton's retarded boob curtain by going straight for a plethora of butt shots. Otherwise, this shoot would've rapidly become, dare I say, Lauren Conrad-esque? Then may God have mercy on us all....


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Jessica Simpson should never do this again

Here's Jessica Simpson performing in San Antonio last night, and who the hell is her choreographer? There's no nudity, so it can't be Joe Simpson.



But whoever it is, the only stage direction they seem to be giving is "Make sure you look 10-15 pounds heavier, and if you could flash a little gut, icing on the cake."



Then again, that conversation could turn ugly once it's revealed the cake is metaphorical. If there's one thing Jessica Simpson hates, it's metaphorical food. And dieting.


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Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Visit the White House

Making the trip to the nation’s capitol, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes hit up the White House Correspondents Dinner on in Washington DC on Saturday night (May 9).

Joining a star-studded guest list, the “Top Gun” stud and his “Mad Money” wife kindly greeted fans and posed for pictures as they made their way inside the swanky affair.

TomKat joined fellow celebrities including Chace Crawford, Ed Westwick, Alicia Keys, Eva Longoria, Whoopi Goldberg and Sting, among many others turning up at the White House for the night’s festivities.

In related news, as previously reported by Gossip Girls, it was recently announced that Katie has landed a role in the new movie “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark”.

Due to begin shooting this summer in Melbourne, the film is about “a young girl who moves in with her father and his girlfriend and discovers they are sharing the house with devilish creatures.”

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Chris Brown's lawyer moves towards dismissal

No wonder Rihanna fled the West Coast. Chris Brown's lawyer Mark Geragos filed his motion yesterday seeking internal LAPD documents about the leaked photo of a battered Rihanna. He hopes to prove misconduct by the LAPD and get Chris Brown's assault charges completely dropped. Radar Online reports:

Geragos states, "I'm informed and believe that on or about February 19, 2009, a photograph taken by the LAPD depicting physical injuries on Ms. Fenty's person was illegally leaked to the media. Specifically, I am informed and believe that this highly prejudicial photograph was sold by an LAPD officer to the entertainment website, TMZ. The photograph was immediately viewed by hundreds of thousands of viewers and was displayed on every news channel for several weeks. In fact, the photograph still remains on the TMZ website. The purpose of the leak was necessarily for profit and to vilify Mr. Brown and poison the potential jury pool."
Geragos further states "If the instant motion reveals evidence of dishonest conduct on any of these officers' part, I intend to use such evidence at the preliminary hearing to attack their credibility. The defense intends to prove and argue that the afore-mentioned officers are not credible and that the Court should not believe any or all of their testimony. If the Court does not believe these statements, I believe there is a reasonable likelihood that the case will be dismissed at the preliminary hearing."
Geragos goes on to say, "In this case specifically, the leaking of a photograph (whether for profit or not) of a complaining witness violates a variety of criminal and regulatory prohibitions. In and of itself these actions would not only constitute demonstratable bias on the part of the involved officers but could potentially be the basis for a Motion to Dismiss Outrageous Governmental Misconduct."

For brevity's sake, let me sum up the most important part of this post: Rihanna's cleavage. Some stuff might have just happened about Chris Brown's high-priced lawyer getting another celebrity off the hook, but seriously, look at that outfit. I'm a journalist, so trust me, that's the real story here. Wolf Blitzer is stroking his beard in agreement.

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