NY Loves Jessica's Cleavage

Remember those rumors a while back about how fat Jessica Simpson was? I sure don't, not when she's walking around New York with the best damn push-up bra ever. Not that I could confirm anything even if she was chunky, my eyes are permanently glued to her upper region. There may be some fat below those puppies, but I just. can't. seem. to. look. down. Sorry guys. I wish I could do my journalist duty and report all the facts, but I'm going to have to take a pass on this one. If you're so interested, you take your eyes away and look at the rest of her body. Yeah, didn't think so.


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Domo Arigato Megan Fox

Japan is known for two things: perverted animated porn and fat dudes in diapers who shove each other and call it a sport. That's it... that is, until today. Now they are known as a place where Megan Fox once showed leg at a movie premier. They are also now known at the most kickass country ever. Megan wore regal purple and showed off her ridiculously awesome legs at the Transformers 2 premier. She also signed autographs for a crazy hoard of Japanese dudes while licking her lips suggestively. This is going to be the best film ever.




For Michael Bay's next movie, he's going to have Megan Fox play a superhero named Megan Fox who can make things explode with her mind but only if she's wearing a bikini and is sucking on a lolipop. It will make 3 gagillion dollars in the first five minutes of opening.



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BEST! MOVIE! EVER!

I'm a simple man of simple tastes, which is why I nearly needed to change my pants after learning of Piranha 3-D. Yes, that's right, a movie about evil piranha attacks, BUT IN 3-D! It's gonna be so bad that it magically transforms to best movie of the year. To add to the awesome, Kelly Brook and Riley Steele are in it, and judging by these pictures, they're not on screen to use their wits. If it's like every other horror movie, these two will perform slutty deeds before eventually dying a gruesome bloody death, most likely at the hands (teeth) of the piranhas! IN 3-D! Ok, now I do need to change my pants.


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Megan Fox Isn't Easy

Megan Fox lives an exciting life. She gets to audition for the world's biggest movies AND be propositioned for sex by the world's biggest stars - all at the same time.

“Any casting couch s**t I’ve experienced has been since I’ve become famous. It’s really so heartbreaking. Some of these people! Like Hollywood legends. You think you’re going to meet them and you’re so excited, like, ‘I can’t believe this person wants to have a conversation with me,’ and you get there and you realize that’s not what they want, at all. It’s happened a lot this year actually,” she said.

“There are some guys, talking about actors who have been in the business for a while, who are very egocentric and have been able to sleep with a lot of girls for whatever reason, and because they don’t know me they think I’m going to be this little cupcake, this Marilyn Monroe type who’s going to bat my eyes and be like a receptacle for them," Megan said. "I just shut them down immediately, right in front of people. It’s been so long since someone has told them no, they don’t really know how to deal with it. Because of this non-reality they live in, they’re f**ked up, psychologically.” (Britain’s GQ Magazine)

My favorite part of the interview is it's not a surprise to Megan that men want to bang her for a role. I bet this is how she got every job pre-fame. If that's the case, and I'm almost positive it is, then Michael Bay is my new hero. I just pray he built a, "Even if you get famous, you still do me on every sequel" clause into her Transformers contract. I bet he did, the guy seems like he'd be prepared.


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Lauren Conrad Shows Us Her 'O-Face'

LC tossed out the first pitch the the Dodgers-Phillies game over the weekend. I didn't see it, but that's no surprise. Seriously, does anyone watch the Dodgers? I didn't even know they had fans. I bet Lauren was paid big money to put on those clothes... there's really no other reason. Still, I didn't hear any additional mocking of her since then (no more than normal), so I guess the pitch couldn't have been that bad. Again, no surprise - she was on The Hills, I'm sure she knows how to handle balls.


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Supermodel Gisele Brady

Supermodel Gisele Brady (she didn't actually change her name, I just like how ridiculous and unbalanced that sounds) wore several different bikinis for a photo shoot for Calzedonia's summer ad campaign. There's really not much more to say about it and you're probably not reading this anyway, so just enjoy the pictures.


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Bar Rafaeli Poses for GQ Italy

Supermodel Bar Rafaeli posed for the June 2009 issue of the Italian edition of GQ magazine and as you can probably the guess the pictures are fairly nice to look at. I mean, if you're into slender attractive girls with big boobs, that is.


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